How to Love God and Love Others at Work as a Christian

What It Really Means to Love God and Love Others in the Marketplace

Some of the nicest people you’ll ever work with don’t follow Jesus.

That’s not an insult. It’s an observation, and it raises a hard question for every believer who clocks in on Monday morning. If kindness alone doesn’t set us apart, what does? What does it actually look like to live out the Great Commandment in a budget meeting, on a sales call, or in the school pickup line?

That question sat at the center of a recent CBB After Party at The Stone Table. Host Bill Tibbetts gathered a business owner, a nonprofit executive, and a pastor to keep the conversation going after the Christian Business Breakfast. What came out of it is a practical framework for anyone who wants their work to mean more than a paycheck.

The Great Commandment Doesn’t Clock Out

In Matthew 22, Jesus sums up the entire Law and the Prophets in two commands: love God, and love others. Most believers can quote it. Far fewer know what to do with it at 2:00 on a Tuesday afternoon.

The panel was clear from the start. “The marketplace” isn’t just for business owners. It includes the insurance agent, the student, the stay-at-home parent, and the person digging ditches in the summer heat. If you work, the Great Commandment applies to your work.

As Bill put it, nothing in Scripture limits loving God and loving others to a vocation. It is our life.

It Starts With Who Is on the Throne

Bill described an image his family uses. Picture a blank room with one chair in the middle. You get to decide what sits in that chair. Your career, your reputation, your kids, and your comfort all compete for it.

Pastor Dave Olson admitted that even ministry can become self-centered. A sermon can quietly become about the response it gets. A tidy lawn can matter more than a gospel-shaped life. The question is always the same: who is sitting on the throne?

Brittany Wells, an Indianapolis business owner, added an important nuance. Our idols are usually made out of good things. A marriage, children, and a thriving business are all gifts. They become problems only when they move into first place.

Dave framed it this way:

“You can have success. You can have multiplication in business. You can have a healthy, growing family. But the minute those things start to have you, the motivation gets off.”

Key Insight 1: Show Jesus Before You Share Jesus

Cliff Sweazey, Executive Director of Hope Healthcare Services, came to faith later in life. His approach is simple. Every hard moment at work is an opportunity to show Jesus before you have a chance to share Jesus.

How you handle pressure, how you treat difficult people, and how you respond when things go sideways all plant seeds. Brittany was honest about why this requires more than willpower: “I might seem kind, but my flesh wants to rip somebody’s head off when they’re yelling at me on the phone.”

Her answer is daily time in the Word, worship, and dependence on the Holy Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit isn’t something you manufacture. It grows from staying connected to the source.

Key Insight 2: Faithfulness Plays the Long Game

At 18, Brittany took her first job at Dairy Queen. Her manager made it a personal mission to break down her faith. Brittany didn’t quit, and she didn’t cave. She stayed, kept her convictions, and worked her way up to senior shift manager.

Years later, that manager sent her a long message. She had found the Lord, and Brittany was a big reason why.

Bill drew two lessons from the story. First, the Lord always honors faithfulness, even when we never see the outcome. Second, staying mattered. The church has a long history of separating from the world instead of staying close enough to testify. Proximity is part of the assignment.

Key Insight 3: Comfort Is an Idol Too

Why do believers drift into Christian bubbles? Dave named it plainly: comfort is an idol we serve.

He confessed that his own life had become completely insulated. His barber, his gym, and his kids’ school were all Christian spaces. A mentor called it out: “Congrats. You’ve successfully insulated yourself from the world. You’re safe.” Dave responded by changing where he gets his hair cut, where he works out, and how he engages his neighbors.

Bill offered a helpful picture from baseball. You step up to the plate, hit, run the bases, and come home to sit with your team. Then you go out and do it again. Fellowship is the dugout, not the destination.

Practical Application: Moving From Nice to Redemptive

Here is the heart of the conversation. What’s the difference between redeemed behavior and just being nice?

Cliff’s table landed on an uncomfortable answer: nice is often self-serving. Nice avoids confrontation. It skips hard feedback. It keeps the peace because peace is easier for me. Redemptive behavior goes deeper. It includes honest conversations, offered with grace, for the good of the other person.

The panel offered four practical shifts:

1. Check your motivation. Nice asks, “How do I avoid rocking the boat?” Redemptive asks, “How can this person move toward wholeness in Christ?”
2. Walk slowly through the halls. Brittany borrowed this phrase from a church staff. Rushing to the next task can make you miss the quiet receptionist or the struggling teacher the Spirit wants you to notice.
3. Let your behavior become collateral. Bill said it well: your conduct at work earns the right to share the gospel in words. People notice. Eventually, they ask why.
4. Change your prayer. Instead of “God, bless what I’m doing,” pray, “God, include me in what You’re doing.”

Dave’s wife saw this play out. After months of simply showing up for a coworker, the coworker asked, “You have peace. Where did you get it?”

Common Myth: Ministry Jobs Matter More

One man told Dave he felt guilty about leaving a role that felt like ministry for a high-paying sales job. Dave asked him a few questions. Can you love God and love people while selling? Can you disciple people at work and at church? Yes and yes.

The point isn’t the job title. The question is whether you can love God and love others where you are. If you can, go for it.

Your Identity Holds It All Together

None of this works if your sense of worth rises and falls with your performance. Job titles change. Bank balances change. Kids move out. Who you are in Christ does not.

Bill pictured it like standing on a beach. Every wave pulls your feet deeper into the sand. But five feet away is a rock. The waves keep coming, but you stop sinking.

Conclusion: Go Past the Limit of Nice

Niceness has a limit. Redeemed behavior goes past it, the same way God went past every limit when He sent His Son.

This week, pick one person at work. Slow down. Ask a deeper question. Pray to be included in what God is already doing in their life.

Watch the full CBB After Party conversation on The Stone Table’s YouTube channel, and share your story with us. We want to hear what God is doing in your marketplace.

Ready to live on mission without the pressure? Start here: thestonetable.org/start.

Full Transcript

Bill: Welcome to the CBB After Party, or what we like to call your After Dinner Mint. My name is Bill Tibbetts, and I’m a vice president here at The Stone Table. This morning we had the Christian Business Breakfast, and I’ve invited a few guests who were in the room to continue the conversation. Before we get started, let me have them introduce themselves. My friends, who are you? Let’s start immediately to my left.

Brittany: My name is Brittany Wells. I’m a business owner here in Indianapolis, and I’m excited to be here.

Bill: She’s a business owner. She’s the boss, the marketer, the HR person. She’s really successful, and she’s cool too. So we’re going to have a good conversation.

Cliff: I’m Cliff Sweazey with Hope Healthcare Services. We provide medical, dental, and counseling services to the uninsured in the community.

Bill: I love it. His real name’s Clifford.

Cliff: It is Clifford.

Bill: Like the red dog.

Cliff: I’ve heard that a time or two. I always get “Oh no, Mr. Bill” too, which a certain generation doesn’t understand.

Bill: Oh no, Mr. Bill. Brittany had no idea what we’re talking about.

Dave: I’m Dave Olson, and I’m not a business person. I’m a pastor at River. So I don’t know what I’m doing here.

Bill: He’s learning what his congregation does most of the week.

Dave: Honestly, as a pastor, sometimes you romanticize the idea of what it would be like not to work in ministry. So it’s a really fun opportunity to sit in. My wife has always worked in business, so being married to her gives me a front-row seat to life in the business world.

Bill: I love that. God’s going to really bless your household, because you’ve got the marketplace and vocational ministry.

Cliff: As a pastor, don’t you only work a couple of hours on Sunday?

Dave: Classic. It’s not Sunday, so I’m here.

Bill: Perfect. Well, this morning at the CBB, we were talking about the Great Commandment in Matthew 22: love God, love others. This is the summation of all the Law and the Prophets. And we asked the question, what in the world does it mean to love God and love others at work, in the marketplace?

Let me be clear. When we talk about the marketplace, we’re talking about everything from owning a business, to selling insurance, to being a student, to being a stay-at-home parent. Work itself.

So here’s the general question we led with this morning. When someone asks, “What does it mean to fulfill the greatest commandments at work?”, how do you respond, for yourself or when sharing with others?

Brittany: For me, a lot of it is being led by the Holy Spirit. So much of my day-to-day, you never know what you’re going to get. You could be hit with a bunch of different problems and scenarios. When you’re filled with the Holy Spirit, you can respond in a way that is loving to others. I can’t plan out my day perfectly in the morning and say, “This is exactly how it’s going to go, and this is how I’m going to respond.” But when you’re led by the Spirit, you’re prepared to respond in a loving way to those around you: your team, your customers, your family, your kids.

Bill: Can I ask a follow-up question? Let’s help people who may not know what it means to be led by the Holy Spirit. I believe it’s Ephesians 5:18 (if I’m wrong, correct me in the comments) that says to be filled with the Spirit, as a contrast to being filled with things from the world. You’ve got three children. Pretend I’m one of your little nuggets. What does it mean to be filled with the Holy Spirit and led by the Holy Spirit at work? Teach me.

Brittany: The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, and self-control. I can’t do all that on my own strength. So daily I spend time with God, listen to edifying worship music, and get in the Word. That’s how I know I can be filled with the Holy Spirit. Alone, without all of that in me, I will fail every time.

I am not a peaceful person by nature. I might seem kind, but my flesh wants to rip somebody’s head off when they’re yelling at me on the phone. So getting in the Word daily and spending time with God is when the Holy Spirit can enter and give me the fruit I know I need as a Christian.

Bill: I love that. The Holy Spirit is our advocate and counselor in every minute of the day. Whether it’s an Excel spreadsheet, a budget meeting, or digging ditches all day in the hot sun, the Lord has called us to redeem that moment. He’s asked us to partner with Him in that redemption, and He’s given us the great Counselor and Advocate to navigate it. What about you two? How would you respond to that question?

Cliff: You put it so well and so eloquently. I have to simplify everything. For me, it’s an opportunity to show Jesus before I have a chance to share Jesus. It doesn’t matter what you do. Contrary to popular belief, being a pastor is hard, and you do work more than Sundays. Digging ditches is hard. We all have challenges. How you embrace those challenges, how you treat people, how you act differently, sometimes that’s enough to plant a seed for someone.

We can call it being guided by the Spirit and being obedient to that, showing the fruit of the Spirit. But if you remind yourself that everything you do is an opportunity to show Jesus, it may lead to the ability to share Him later on.

Bill: Cliff, I have a follow-up question. Honestly, reading comments on social media (always a bad idea), it’s so tempting for me to get focused on the what, wanting this thing to happen, that it bypasses the how. I’ve experienced it in my own life and witnessed it in others. We justify our bad behavior because the thing is so important. We say things, we demonize people. Why do we do that? Why do we allow the “it” to become so important, whether it’s getting my budget approved, a marketing campaign, or working with coworkers, that it bypasses living by the fruit of the Spirit?

Cliff: I think you nailed it. It becomes our focus. And I’d go one step deeper. There’s the what, and then there’s the how. But we need to focus on the why. Why do we do what we do every day? Why do we even want to be led by the Spirit or be obedient? It’s so easy to focus on what’s right in front of us and tangible. But the why, why we do our profession, why we serve, why we go to church, why we give, changes the what we’re focused on. It lets us embrace the fruit and the direction, just by knowing this is why I do it.

Bill: I love that. I shared an analogy this morning at CBB, something we’ve taught our kids because we practice it ourselves. We don’t see the imagery of Jesus on the throne much until after the Gospels, and then that language shows up. We’ve always told our kids: we exist in a blank room, and in that room is one chair right in the middle. Call it a throne if you want. We get to choose what we place in that seat, and our goal is to place Christ there.

So it goes back to the why. What are we going to put on the throne? Hebrews 12 talks about Jesus seated at the right hand of the throne. If we lean into that, it ignites the transformation within us, and it informs how I respond to the what in front of me. Dave, what would you say?

Dave: It transcends every industry and field. You can be a pastor and still be the center of your own life. “This sermon’s about Jesus, but really it’s about how I feel and the response I get.” Getting people excited about serving can become about how awesome I am at my job and the gifts I have, instead of about Christ.

It transcends business, ministry, and home. We have four kids under the age of 12, and our youngest is two. On either side of our house are retired empty nesters. Their lawns are incredible, their gardens are perfect, their houses are put together. Then you get to my house. We’ve got woodpecker holes in the siding, and the landscaping is overtaken by weeds. It’s an abject disaster. There’s a part of me that thinks, “I look bad,” instead of asking how my house and my life reflect Christ and the gospel.

So it transcends all of it. The question is always: who’s sitting on the throne? Is it me? My reputation? How I feel? What I get out of this? Or am I truly doing this for the glory of Christ?

Cliff: I love that, because I tell a lot of people that anything can become our identity. Our job can become our identity. Being parents, being married. We talk a lot about what you orbit around. When you’re young, it could be school, and that’s your orbit. Then school’s done, and you have nothing to orbit around. The same thing happens with a relationship, or your kids move out, or the company closes, or you’re called to something else.

These are important things, but we can make idols out of them. So we have to be careful what we orbit around. If God is in that chair and we orbit around Him, there’s room for everything else.

Brittany: Something they said at the breakfast today was that a lot of our idols are made out of good things and good intentions. That struck a chord with me. I love my husband, I love my kids, I love what I do, but those can so easily become idols for me.

God has been drawing me to Revelation 2, where it says, “I hold this against you: you have forsaken your first love.” When you first get saved, you’re so zealous for the Lord. Nothing compares to Him. Then you get comfortable and think, “God will always be there,” and all these other things get more of your focus. And God’s just standing there saying, “You have forsaken your first love. Come back to me.”

Dave: It’s the question of what has you. You can have success. You can have multiplication in business. You can have a healthy, growing family. But the minute those things start to have you, the motivation gets off. That’s why the motivation always has to go back to love: loving God and loving people.

I was talking with someone recently who was contemplating a career move. One job felt, on the surface, like a ministry experience where he could invest in the next generation and disciple people. The next job was hardcore sales with the opportunity to make a lot of money. He was struggling. “Am I bad for wanting to make this shift?”

I said, “First, you feel like God put this in your lap. You weren’t chasing it. Is your wife good with it?” Then I asked, “Can you love God and love people while selling things and making money? Is that wrong?” He said no. “Can you disciple people at your job, at church, and in your world?” He said yes. So what are we talking about here? It’s loving God and loving people. It’s not rocket science.

It’s not complicated, but not complicated doesn’t mean it’s always easy. It requires being led by the Spirit, going into my day intentionally, looking at my calendar and saying, “God, what are you doing? Would you include me in what you’re doing today? As I go to this meeting, as I go on this sales call, you’re already moving. How can I be a part of it?”

Bill: I love the passage you used in Revelation, because there’s a really important word there: first. It’s easy to say “It’s all about God” and then demonize everything else. That’s not it. We just have things in the wrong order. If I love the Lord first, that informs how I love people, how I handle success, how I handle challenges at work.

And Dave, I love what you said too, because it’s the number one question I’ve asked across conferences, counseling, and mentoring. It’s simple. Can you love God and can you love others? If you can, go for it.

So I have a question for you, and I’m going to speak slightly in code to honor and respect the company and the people involved. I worked with a company that produces cereal. A guy in the marketing department is a solid believer. He loves the Lord and is trying so hard to be a witness in word and deed. I have so much respect for him.

He was in charge of branding the cereal, and the company wanted him to put an athlete on the box. This athlete had a significant scandal in his life, nothing anyone around this table would support. And he was left in that moment asking one question: what does it mean to love God and love others right now?

I think that scenario happens a lot. Sometimes it’s bigger, sometimes it’s smaller. Do you have stories like that? What do you do when you’re between a rock and a hard place? His job was on the line. Does he get fired? Lose his insurance, his mortgage payments, college? What do you do in those moments?

Dave: During COVID, a lot of companies were demanding different mandates, and as a pastor I walked with people as they processed, “What am I going to stand my ground on?” A guiding principle for every one of them was that they were seeking counsel. They weren’t making the decision in a vacuum.

If you’re married and a decision like this is potentially career-altering, I always go back to this: you’re one together. There needs to be unity in the marriage. Then there’s black and white. What does the Word say? You always go to Scripture. Then keep in step with the Holy Spirit, pray, hear from the Lord, and make the decision while acknowledging, “God, this isn’t the only place I can make money. You’re my provider. Ultimately, I don’t answer to my boss. I answer to you, Lord.” When David sinned, he said, “I have sinned against the Lord.” God is over all of it.

I’ve seen people make the decision one way. I’ve seen people lose their jobs, and then God provided a whole new job.

Bill: I love everything you just said. I also know the reality of “I’m going to lose my job.” I truly believe God will provide. But is there space in between? Between losing the job and putting the athlete on the cereal box?

Dave: You mean you make the decision and keep your job, but you become ostracized?

Bill: Yeah.

Brittany: That actually happened to me when I was 18. I got a job at Dairy Queen. It was my first job outside the house.

Dave: Those Dairy Queen people.

Brittany: I was pretty sheltered. I grew up in a pastor’s home and was homeschooled. I was a very good Christian girl, and I entered the workforce and was shocked to find out that not everybody lived that way.

Bill: Surprise! Poor little Brittany.

Brittany: From a very young age, I was bold in my faith. I let people know, “This is what I believe, and I do not stray from it.” It wasn’t received well. It was my manager’s personal mission to get me to not be this innocent girl anymore.

I was faced with a decision. Am I going to stick with my convictions and values, or am I going to try to please my manager? I decided I wasn’t going to let one person derail me from everything I’ve ever known. So I stayed at Dairy Queen and worked my way up to senior shift manager.

Years after I left, I got a message on MySpace from that manager. It was very long. She said, “I just want you to know I have found the Lord, and you are a huge reason why I am a Christian now.” I sat there and cried, thinking, “God, you are so good.” He instilled these values, my parents instilled them in me, and because of my convictions I was able to win this girl to the Lord.

Bill: Two things stand out to me from that story. First, the Lord always honors faithfulness. You never know what’s on the other side of faithfulness. Sometimes He’ll show us, and other times He won’t. You were faithful, and years later the Lord showed you what that faithfulness looked like. That’s beautiful.

Second, you didn’t quit. I like that, because it goes back to what we call the monkey trials of the early 1900s. Instead of saying, “We need proximity with the fallen world,” we started separating ourselves. We started running. We have to learn how to stay present, how to stay in proximity and testify like you did. That doesn’t mean we always stay. There are times that very much justify walking away. But how can we stay in proximity to testify of Christ amid the challenges, and let those faithful moments play out? What were you going to say, Cliff?

Cliff: First, I love that story so much. To answer your question about being in that in-between space, I went through that too. I didn’t grow up in church.

Dave: That explains a lot.

Cliff: We can build from there. I didn’t start my walk with Christ until much later in life, as an adult. When God started changing my heart, the situations I faced every day were no fun anymore. It hurt. It was exhausting. But I was making the decision to provide for my family. I lived in that space between what God was putting on my heart and providing for my family for a long time. Eventually I did have to leave, and it took a toll on me.

Dave: As a pastor, like I said, you romanticize living and working in the marketplace, partly because I get so insulated around Christians. Bill will stop me and say, “Enough with the Christianese.” My whole world is insulated.

I remember telling a mentor, “I’m really trying to encourage the church to bring people who don’t know Christ.” And he asked, “When was the last time you brought someone to church?”

I get my hair cut in the church warehouse by a guy who cuts other pastors’ hair. I work out in my basement. I pick my kids up at their Christian school with other Christian families. And he said, “Congrats, Dave. You’ve successfully insulated yourself from the world. You’re safe.”

I had to make some changes and be more intentional. Now I go to a barbershop closer to the city. I joined a gym that only does group fitness. And we’ve been way more intentional with our neighbors. Not so much the retired ones with the pretty lawns, because I’m embarrassed to talk to them.

Bill: Envy’s dangerous, Dave.

Dave: It really is. Being in vocational ministry, I get envious of people who get to go to work and shine that light brightly among people, and who get to love God through their work itself. You can honor God by going into the sales call and crushing it.

When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, He quoted Deuteronomy 6: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. In the Hebrew of Deuteronomy, that last word carries the idea of your extra effort. Part of me gets jealous of that late-night grind session where you think, “I have to get this done, or tomorrow doesn’t happen.” We get some of that in ministry, and we all do in our different spheres. Seeing my wife work in that sphere, loving the Lord and knowing she’s doing it for His glory, is such a cool thing.

Have you read The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence? It’s an old book. He lived at a monastery and wrote, essentially, “When I wash the dishes, I’m doing it for the glory of God, and Jesus is right there with me.” That book has become a Christian classic because it recognizes that God is present and wants to be included in every facet of our life. The boring, mundane day-to-day stuff, and the exciting “I have to stand for my faith right now” moments. God is in all of it.

Bill: So why are we tempted to walk in isolation? Why are we tempted to build a tribe of people who are just like us?

Dave: It’s comfortable. It’s comfortable being with people who look like you, sound like you, and understand your Christianese. When I’m with people who aren’t like me, I’m either in fight or flight. When I’m with my people, I don’t have to take a stand or run away. I can just be comfortable. I think comfort is an idol we serve.

Bill: Say that louder for the people in the back row.

Dave: I need to say it louder for myself. Comfort is an idol we serve. We don’t like uncomfortable situations or uncomfortable people. Comfort isn’t a bad thing. I’m not demonizing it. I’m just naming what it is.

Cliff: For me, my life and lifestyle changed so much. We’re talking a 180. I felt like there was a constant target on my back unless I was around my new relationships, my new brothers in Christ. So many people thought, “This is a phase he’s going through,” or “He learned something and he’s on fire.” They didn’t believe it. It was so much easier to be with people who understood the change than to keep explaining it to family and friends I’d known for so long. So yes, it’s definitely comfort.

Brittany: For me, as a mom, I feel like it’s my job to protect my kids. I want to live in isolation because I don’t want the world to corrupt them. I know that isn’t loving the world. It’s keeping a good thing from the world, when our family is called to be a light to the world.

I still wrestle with this. I have three little boys, and I look at what’s on the internet and think, “I want nothing of that for my kids.” You are the gateway between your kids and the world, so you do have to protect them. But you also can’t shelter them from the world, because when they get out into it, they won’t know how to cope. I know this isn’t a parenting podcast, but that’s probably why I lean toward isolation right now.

Dave: I think it applies to the workplace too. Classic Christian theology names three enemies of our souls. The first is Satan, but Satan’s been defeated. He roars like a lion seeking to devour, but the lion is on a leash. Jesus died and rose again, and all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Christ.

Then there’s the world, and there’s a tension with the world. John 3:16 says God so loved the world that He gave His only Son. And Jesus says, “I want you to go into the world, but don’t be of the world.” But I’d say our worst enemy is ourselves: my flesh, my sinful nature.

The world is a tension to manage, and I don’t think it gets resolved until Christ comes back. Part of me doesn’t want the world to influence me. But there has to be a point where I want to be in the world to influence it, to include the world in God’s redemptive story. Like most things in Scripture, it’s a both/and.

Bill: One analogy we use in our house is baseball. You step up to home plate and hit. Then you leave home plate and run to first, second, third, and come back home. Then you sit with your tribe in the dugout. Then you go out and do it again. In the marketplace, we need you to step up to the plate, hit, run the bases, come back to your tribe, and do it again. That’s why we go to church and have fellowship.

Dave: When I was in youth group, a preacher at church camp said, “The only reason you should have people in your life who aren’t saved is to tell them the gospel.” I’ll never forget my youth pastor saying, “That’s wrong. The only reason you have people in your life who aren’t saved is to love them, and you love them by telling them the gospel. But you need to love them.”

Cliff: I was at a conference recently where the speaker said, “Scripture hits the head before it hits the heart.” That has stuck with me. That’s the danger of only sharing the gospel with people in your life. We have the opportunity to show God’s love first. There’s so much competing noise now. If we show people that we love them, they’ll figure out when it’s time to embrace Scripture. Just spewing Scripture at someone doesn’t do it.

The situational questions they gave us to discuss around the tables this morning were great. One was, “You show up to a meeting and it’s just you and the person you don’t like. What do you do?”

Dave: Walk away. “I have to go to the restroom, I’ll be right back.”

Brittany: I’m texting my work bestie: “Guess who’s here.”

Bill: I love this phrase: no one gets invited to church until they’ve been invited to my dining room table first. We take it further in our house. No one gets invited to our dining room table until we’ve talked to them in the driveway. Driveway, to dining room table, to church. It’s a progression.

Cliff, something you said earlier caught my attention, and I think we need to unpack it. You talked about identity. In my 20s, before Google, I had a crisis of faith. It was just my Bible and my concordance, which was our version of ChatGPT. I had to figure out faith and work, because there were no books on it. One of the things I landed on was identity in Christ. I found over 20 scriptures in the New Testament that say, “This is who you are in Christ.” I wrote them out and started memorizing them. I use them when I mentor marketplace believers, and my kids have them memorized.

So what role does identity in Christ play in the Great Commandment at work? How do you make that connection?

Cliff: My identity changed: who I was and what was important. I spent a lot of time focused on the world, and that was my measure of success. I remember the first time my business was published in the Inc. 500. I thought, “I have arrived.” That was kind of cool, but it was a distraction, and something was missing from my life.

One of the most challenging conversations I ever had was with my wife, when I told her that she couldn’t be number one in my life anymore. I had to put God first, and that would make me a better husband, a better father, and a better leader at work. I had to be all in for that to be my identity, for it to be whole and true. For me, it meant changing 100% of my focus to Him and letting it trickle down through the rest of my life.

It goes back to who’s on the throne. It doesn’t mean the other things aren’t in the room. There’s only one thing that’s elevated. And when you change your focus to that, it makes you better in all those other areas.

Dave: Wow. You were featured in this incredible business magazine, at the pinnacle of business. So often we find our identity in significance. Am I significant in this? That gets affirmed or not affirmed by other people. The more people affirm it, the more we get this vapid sense of significance, and we confuse significance with who we are.

I was at a breakfast with a bunch of Christian men where David Wheaton, the tennis player, shared his testimony. He grew up in a Christian home and had walked away from his faith. He finally reached what he’d trained for his whole career. He said God got hold of his life in that moment. He looked up and saw the row of photographers, and above them, the stadium had already emptied, not 15 minutes after the match. He said he had never felt more alone, unseen, and insignificant. And that drove him to the foot of the cross.

Identity has to be found in things that never change. My status as a son of God, redeemed by the blood of Christ, filled with the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead. That doesn’t change. My job title might change. My success might change. My bank account changes. The number of kids in my house changes. How many parents find their identity in their kids? But who I am in Christ doesn’t change.

If I’m meant to love people, I cannot give out what I don’t have. I’ve been a pastor for almost 20 years, and my wife and I still talk about this. I know it all in my head, but receiving the love of God in my heart is another thing. I’m 40 years old, and I’m still praying, “Lord, please let me know how much you love me.”

I sing to my two-year-old at night: “Jesus loves Lucy, this I know.” But I’ve changed the next line to “for the cross tells me so,” because while I was still a sinner, God showed His love by dying on a cross. I have to receive it. If I don’t receive it, I can’t give it.

Cliff: That reminds me. When I had all those other things going on, I realized my happiness was situational and circumstantial. My target for happiness kept moving. Every time I achieved something, I was looking for what’s next. With Christ, there’s joy, and it doesn’t matter whether you’re digging ditches, doing ministry, or serving. We can have joy regardless of our situation or circumstance.

Dave: I love what Erik said in his teaching this morning: “Jesus’s finished work is the starting point for all my work.” That just takes the lid off. It’s so freeing. Jesus’s work is finished. Let’s go. Let’s have fun and live out of the overflow of Christ’s love.

Bill: What I love about this conversation is that nothing in Scripture limits loving God and loving others to a vocation. It is our life. When other things change, we still do this.

Brittany, I want to focus on you. When I think about someone living out their identity in Christ, whether at home, at work, or at the grocery store, I think of you. There’s such a profound sense of consistency in the life you live. Now, again, this girl was homeschooled and then got ruined by Dairy Queen.

Brittany: I love Dairy Queen.

Dave: If you want to sponsor her, Dairy Queen, we welcome it.

Cliff: Brittany, what’s your favorite Blizzard?

Brittany: Chocolate Extreme, all the way.

Bill: I like that. So how would you share with someone listening how to grow in knowing who you are in Christ? It informs every decision of my life. How have you done it? How are you leading your family, your employees, your customers?

Brittany: Never feeling like I’ve arrived. Always knowing I’m a work in progress. There’s not a point I need to get to. Your salvation is constant. You don’t just get saved once and you’re done. You keep getting refined and keeping in step with the Spirit.

There’s something so beautiful about coming before God and saying, “I know I’m a mess, but can you do something with this mess?” He’s so gracious to let you be a mess. You can lose it on your employee, come back and say, “God, help me fix this,” and then your employee sees the goodness of God because you’re walking in step with the Spirit, even through your mistakes.

It’s like parenting. My boys are going to know what it looks like to have an imperfect mom who knows how to apologize when she’s made a mistake, who can be real and authentic. They’ll see someone who is still figuring out her relationship with Jesus, not someone acting like she has it all together. So I’m okay being a work in progress.

Bill: I hear the word humility. We’re called to walk in humility, and for me, I can only do that if I know who I am in Christ. When I know my identity, no one can take it away. It gives me a sense of security. I can say, “I’m sorry.” I can say, “I don’t know.” If I were walking in insecurity, I’d try to fill the space, grasp, and hold on. But when I know who I am in Christ, I can open my hands. You can judge me. I can fail. I’m okay.

Funny enough, I shared this last night with some friends. For the last 18 years, I’ve prayed one simple prayer every day: “Lord, as long as you don’t leave me, I’m okay.” The irony is, He never has. It’s the same with our identity. It doesn’t change. My job is to know it, understand it, receive it, and walk in it.

There’s a reason Scripture uses the image of planting our feet on the rock. When I stand on the beach and the waves come in, my feet start to sink. With every wave, they go further down. But I can step onto the rock five feet away. The environment hasn’t changed. The waves still come. But I’m not sinking, because I know my identity in Christ. To love God and love others in every sphere of the marketplace, it starts with knowing who we are in Christ.

Dave: Amen.

Bill: Let’s start wrapping up with what I think was one of the hardest questions this morning. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, N.T. Wright, and others have wrestled with it. What’s the difference between redeemed behavior and just being nice? When we talk about loving God and loving others at work, at the grocery store, or in the school pickup line, it could be easy to just be nice. Frankly, I know a lot of people who don’t serve the Lord who are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. So what’s the difference? How did you wrestle with that at your table?

Cliff: We had a great conversation about that at our table, and we narrowed it down to this: often, nice is self-serving. At a surface level, I can avoid a confrontation by being nice, but that may really benefit me, my time, or my desire not to jump in. I can skip constructive criticism and gloss over things. It doesn’t sound that way, but often being nice is just self-serving. Being redemptive, being kind, means being authentic. It means having challenging conversations and going deeper than the surface.

Bill: It’s almost like niceness has a limit, and redeemed behavior goes past that limit. Much deeper. Kind of like what God did when He sent His only Son to stand in the gap for us. Dave, what’s the difference for you?

Dave: We worked through situational questions today. “You see the receptionist is quiet and looking down. What do you do?” You can be nice, and a lot of people settle for nice. You can be nice without being redemptive, but I don’t think you can be redemptive without being nice.

I also love what Cliff said about challenging conversations being redemptive. “I love you so much that I need to share some truth with you.” You can do it in a grace-filled, loving way, sometimes set apart from your emotions, for the sake of the person. A lot of the difference comes down to motivation. Nice can be self-serving: “I just don’t want to rock the boat.” Redemptive always has the gospel as the goal. I’m going to be nice, but I also want to share the love of Christ with you.

Bill: Another way of phrasing that, Dave: the gospel is the goal. I always say to myself, wholeness is the goal. Wholeness in Christ. That’s how I approach a lot of work, secular or not. I look at something and ask how it can be better aligned with what God intended it to be. That’s the language of wholeness.

So with the receptionist, yes, I’ll be nice, and my motivation is wholeness. I stand there, talk, listen, and ask deeper questions. I pause the task list running in my head. Sometimes I do have to get to the task, but it means going past the limits of business.

Brittany: It’s living intentionally. When my husband was on staff at a church, their big thing was “walk slowly through the halls.” I took that with me into life. Walk slowly through life. You might miss the discernment of the Holy Spirit if you’re rushing to the next thing, the task list, or school drop-off. The receptionist or your kid’s teacher might need that intentionality. Not just you being nice, but going the extra mile to share the gospel, or bringing them a Starbucks, whatever it might be. You have to stop rushing and get intentional with the people in your life.

Cliff: I love both of those words, wholeness and intentionality. We started this conversation talking about showing Jesus before we share Jesus. In every one of those situations we discussed, we can be whole, we can be intentional, and we can show God’s love. We need to remind ourselves about grace, mercy, and forgiveness, especially in challenging conversations and conflict at work. What has Christ done for us, and how do we convey that to others? One of the best ways is by showing it.

Bill: Scripture talks about word and deed. I think our behavior at work becomes the collateral to share the gospel in word. Let me say that again: our behavior at work becomes the collateral with others to share the gospel in word.

I don’t enjoy separating the two, as if it’s “Now let me tell you about the gospel.” No, I’ve been telling you about the gospel the last five years I’ve worked here, by how we’ve lived it out. But we have to be careful that it isn’t only “I work hard out of my motivation for God.” We also have to be ready to verbalize why I behave this way. In my 30 years, and in other people’s testimonies, if you live it out, people will always ask why. They’ll notice. “Why are you like that?”

Dave: My wife had a coworker at her previous job. It was a hard job, and she wasn’t in the right seat on the bus, but she kept showing up for that coworker. They’d talk about life and their weekends. One day the coworker said, “You have peace. Where did you get it? I’m looking for peace in my life.” That’s just showing up, and that is being redemptive.

Colossians 4 says to make the most of every opportunity. You can be nice in every opportunity, or you can make the most of every opportunity. I’m going to be redemptive. I’m going to live by the Spirit, aim for the fruit of the Spirit, and look for the gifts of the Spirit to speak. People say, “Share the gospel at all times, and if necessary use words.” I’d say share the gospel at all times, in everything you do and everything you say.

Our youth pastor told me that when he shows up somewhere, he prays, “God, would you include me in what you’re doing?”

Bill: Say that again.

Dave: Instead of praying, “God, would you bless what I’m doing?”, he prays, “God, would you include me in what you’re doing?”

Bill: That’s so good. That’s redemptive. “Lord, I want to partner with you. You’re already at work. Would you show me what you’re doing and include me in it?” That’s going in my devotional next week. Good job, Pastor Josh. You were faithful in that little moment, and now you’re reaching the world.

Everything we’re talking about, intentionality and the rest, comes when I sit with Jesus. When I sit with Jesus, I get a vision. And I firmly believe this from Scripture: vision germinates proximity. When the Lord shows me what it means to love God and love others, it brings me closer to people, and we engage.

Let’s wrap this up. I want to share my working definition of redemptive behavior. It’s not mine. I pulled it from a lot of people much smarter than me, from different theologians:

Redemptive behavior is intentionally partnering with God in moving people, relationships, work, and systems toward greater alignment with His character and His purposes.

Thank you for sitting with us on this journey. We have a lot of great resources at The Stone Table. Go through our YouTube channel and all our social media. Reach out and tell us your story, because we want to know what God is doing around the world. Thank you so much.