Comfort Is an Idol (Why Christians Isolate From the World)

How to Stay in the Game

Take a quick inventory of your week.

Where do you get your hair cut? Where do you work out? Who do you see at school pickup? Who do you eat lunch with?

If every answer leads back to other Christians, you’re not alone. You might also be in more trouble than you think.

That’s the question a pastor, a business owner, and a nonprofit leader wrestled with in a recent CBB After Party at The Stone Table. Their conclusion was blunt: comfort is an idol we serve.

The Pastor Who Was Too Safe

Pastor Dave Olson had a burden to see his church reach people who don’t know Christ. So he shared it with a mentor, who asked him one simple question.

“When was the last time you brought someone to church?”

Dave didn’t have a good answer. His barber cut other pastors’ hair in a church warehouse. He worked out alone in his basement. His kids went to a Christian school with other Christian families. His mentor summed it up:

“Congrats, Dave. You’ve successfully insulated yourself from the world. You’re safe.”

Safe sounds like a good thing. But Dave heard it for what it was. A follower of Jesus who never crosses paths with people far from God has quietly stepped out of the mission.

So he made changes. He found a barbershop closer to the city, joined a group fitness gym, and got intentional with his neighbors. None of those moves were dramatic. All of them put him back in proximity.

Why We Build the Bubble

When host Bill Tibbetts asked the panel why Christians drift into isolation, the answers were honest.

It’s comfortable. Dave explained that time with people who look like you, sound like you, and speak your “Christianese” requires nothing. Around everyone else, you’re in fight or flight. Around your people, you can relax.

It’s easier than explaining yourself. Cliff Sweazey, Executive Director of Hope Healthcare Services, came to faith as an adult. His life changed 180 degrees. Old friends and family assumed it was a phase. It felt far easier to spend time with new brothers in Christ than to keep defending the change to people who didn’t believe it.

It feels like protection. Business owner Brittany Wells is a mom of three boys. She admitted that her desire to protect her kids from the world pulls her toward isolation. “I know that’s not loving the world,” she said. “That’s keeping a good thing from the world.”

Notice that none of these reasons are evil. Comfort, belonging, and protecting your children are all good things. That’s exactly what makes comfort such an effective idol. It doesn’t ask you to do anything wrong. It just asks you to stay put.

What Staying Can Look Like

At 18, Brittany took her first job at Dairy Queen. She had grown up in a pastor’s home, was homeschooled, and was bold about her faith. Her manager made it a personal mission to break that down.

Brittany had a choice. She could quit, or she could keep her convictions and stay. She stayed, and she worked her way up to senior shift manager.

Years later, a long message arrived from that manager. She had found the Lord, and Brittany was a big reason why.

Bill drew two lessons from the story.

1. The Lord always honors faithfulness. Sometimes He lets us see the fruit years later. Sometimes He doesn’t. Either way, faithfulness is never wasted.
2. Brittany didn’t quit. For much of the last century, many Christians responded to a hostile culture by separating from it. Bill’s challenge is to learn how to stay present and testify from close range.

That doesn’t mean you never walk away. Bill was clear that some situations justify leaving. Cliff knows this firsthand. After coming to faith, he spent a long season in an environment that grew painful, trying to honor God while providing for his family. Eventually he had to leave, and the season took a real toll on him.

Staying isn’t always the answer. But leaving shouldn’t be our reflex.

Common Myth: Isolation Is the Same as Holiness

Many believers quietly assume that the safest Christian life is the holiest one. Fewer secular friends means fewer temptations, so a smaller world must be a purer one.

Scripture doesn’t support that. Jesus prayed that His followers would be in the world but not of it. Both halves matter. Remove the first half and you get a church that is pure but absent.

Dave also confessed an envy many pastors share. Marketplace believers get to shine their light in places a pastor rarely goes. “You can honor God by going into the sales call and crushing it,” he said. Your workplace isn’t a distraction from ministry. It’s one of the few places where proximity is built into your calendar.

The Baseball Rhythm

So how do you avoid both ditches, isolation on one side and burnout on the other? Bill offered a picture from baseball.

You step up to the plate and hit. You run the bases. Then you come home and sit in the dugout with your team. Then you go back out and do it again.

That’s the rhythm of a healthy Christian life in the marketplace:

• Step up to the plate. Show up at work, in your neighborhood, and in your community as a follower of Jesus.
• Run the bases. Build real relationships with people who don’t share your faith.
• Come back to the dugout. Church and fellowship are where you rest, recover, and get encouraged.
• Go back out. The dugout is a place to recharge, not a place to live.

Fellowship was never meant to replace the field. It’s what sends you back onto it.

Practical Next Steps

If comfort has become your idol, the fix isn’t dramatic. It’s a few small decisions that put you back in proximity.

• Audit your week. List the places you go and the people you see. How many of them don’t know Jesus?
• Change one routine. Like Dave, move one regular habit (a gym, a coffee shop, a barber) into a space where you’ll meet new people.
• Stay a little longer. Before you quit a hard workplace, ask whether God has placed you there for someone like Brittany’s manager.
• Protect without hiding. For parents, the goal is to be the gateway between your kids and the world, not a wall.

Conclusion: Get Back in the Game

Comfort will always feel safe. That’s why it makes such a convincing idol.

But the people God wants to reach aren’t in the dugout. They’re at your job, your gym, and the house next door. This week, step up to the plate.

Watch the full CBB After Party conversation on The Stone Table’s YouTube channel, and share your story with us. We want to hear what God is doing in your marketplace.

Full Transcript

Dave: My whole life is insulated. I get my hair cut in the church warehouse by a guy who cuts other pastors’ hair. I work out in my basement, and then I pick my kids up at their Christian school with other Christian families. And he said, “Hey, congrats, Dave. You’ve successfully insulated yourself from the world. You’re safe.” And I’m like, I’ve got to change.

Bill: Is there space in between, though?

[Segment begins]

Brittany: I was pretty sheltered. I grew up in a pastor’s home and was homeschooled. I was a very good Christian girl, and I entered the workforce and was shocked to find out that not everybody lived that way.

Bill: Surprise! Poor little Brittany.

Brittany: I know. From a very young age, I was bold in my faith. I let people know, “This is what I believe, and I do not stray from it.” It wasn’t received well. My manager made it her personal mission to get me to not be this innocent girl anymore.

I was faced with a decision. Am I going to stick with my convictions and my values, or am I going to try to please my manager? And I decided I wasn’t going to let one person derail me from everything I’ve ever known. So I stayed at Dairy Queen, and I worked my way up to senior shift manager.

Years after I left, I got a message on MySpace from that manager. It was very long. She said, “I just want you to know I have found the Lord, and you are a huge reason why I am a Christian now.” I just sat there and cried, thinking, “God, you are so good.” He instilled these values, my parents instilled them in me, and because of my convictions, I was able to win this girl to the Lord.

Bill: I love that. Two things stand out to me from that story. First, the Lord always honors faithfulness. You never know what’s on the other side of faithfulness. Sometimes He’ll show us, and other times He won’t. But you were faithful, and years later the Lord showed you what that faithfulness looked like. I think that’s so beautiful.

Second, you didn’t quit. I like that, because it goes back to what we call the monkey trials of the early 1900s. Instead of saying, “We need proximity with the fallen world,” we started separating ourselves. We started moving the church. We started running. We have to learn how to stay present, how to stay in proximity and testify like you did. That doesn’t mean we always stay. There are times that very much justify walking away. But how can we stay in proximity to testify of Christ amid the challenges, and let these faithful moments play out? What were you going to say, Cliff?

Cliff: First off, I love that story so much. To answer your question about being in that in-between space, I went through that too. I didn’t grow up in church. I didn’t have that.

Dave: That explains a lot. That’s all I’m going to say.

Cliff: We can build from there. I didn’t start my walk with Christ until I was an adult, much later in life. And I was in that space. When God started changing my heart, the situations I faced every day were just no fun anymore. It hurt. It was exhausting. But I was making the decision to provide for my family. Finally it got to the point where I had to leave that environment. I lived in that space for a long time, in between what God was putting on my heart and providing for my family. It took a toll on me.

Dave: I’ve got to say, as a pastor, you romanticize the idea of living and working in the marketplace. Part of the reason is that I get so insulated in my life around Christians. Bill will stop me and say, “Enough with the Christianese.” My whole world is insulated.

I remember talking to a mentor. I said, “I’m really trying to encourage the church to bring people who don’t know Christ to church.” And he asked, “When was the last time you brought someone to church, as a pastor?”

I said, “My whole life is insulated. I get my haircut in the church warehouse by a guy who cuts other pastors’ hair. I work out in my basement, and then I pick my kids up at their Christian school with other Christian families.” And he said, “Hey, congrats, Dave. You’ve successfully insulated yourself from the world. You’re safe.”

I’m like, I’ve got to make some changes. I have to be more intentional. So now I go to a barbershop closer to the city. I joined a gym that only does group fitness. And we’ve been way more intentional with our neighbors. Not so much the retired ones with the pretty lawns, because they upset me.

Bill: You’re embarrassed.

Dave: I’m embarrassed. I’m embarrassed to talk to them.

Bill: Envy’s dangerous, Dave.

Dave: It really is. Being in vocational ministry, there’s a part of me that gets envious of people who get to go to work and shine that light brightly among people, and who get to love God through the work itself. You can honor God by going into the sales call and crushing it.

Bill: Why are we tempted to walk in isolation? Why are we tempted to build a tribe of people who are just like us? What’s your perspective?

Dave: I’m a fallen person. We’re fallen people. It’s just comfortable. It’s comfortable being with people who look like you, sound like you, and understand your language, the Christianese you’re speaking.

When I’m with other people, I’m either in fight or flight. When I’m with my people, I don’t have to fight or flee. I don’t have to worry about taking a stand or running away. I can just be comfortable. And I think comfort is an idol we serve.

Bill: Comfort is a deep idol. You need to say that louder for the people in the back row.

Dave: I need to say it louder for myself. I’m sitting in the back row. Comfort is an idol we serve. We don’t like to be in uncomfortable situations or around uncomfortable people. And comfort isn’t a bad thing. Let’s not demonize it. I’m just naming what it is. We like to be comfortable.

Cliff: For me, my life and lifestyle changed so much. When I say my life changed, we’re talking 180 degrees. I felt like there was a constant target on my back unless I was around my new relationships, my new brothers in Christ. So many people thought, “This is a phase he’s going through,” or “He learned something and he’s on fire.” They didn’t even believe it. So that comfort you’re talking about, it was so much easier to be with people who got it than to keep explaining the changes in my life to people I’d known for so long. Family, friends, everyone. So yes, it’s definitely comfort.

Brittany: For me, as a mom, I feel like it’s my job to protect my kids. I think I want to live in isolation because I don’t want the world to corrupt them. And I know that’s not loving the world. That’s keeping a good thing from the world, when our family is called to be a light to the world.

I still wrestle with this. I have three little boys, and I see what’s on the internet and think, “I want nothing of that for my kids.” You are the gateway between your kids and the world, so you do have to protect them. But you also can’t shelter them from the world, because when they get out into it, they won’t know how to cope. I’m not on a parenting podcast, so I’m sorry. But I think that’s probably why I live in isolation right now: my deep desire to keep my kids innocent and protect them.

Dave: Like most things, there’s always a both/and.

Bill: There always is, especially with a lot of Scripture. One of the analogies we use in our house, which I learned before we had kids, is baseball. You go up to home plate and hit. Then you have to leave home plate. You go to first, second, third, and then you come back to home plate. Then you go sit with your tribe. And then you go out again and do it again.

I think that’s really important for us in the marketplace to recognize. It’s both. We need you to get up to the plate, hit, go around the bases, come back and be with your tribe, and then do it again. That’s why we go to church. That’s why we have fellowship and don’t isolate. I think it’s an analogy that works for what you all are describing.