The Father We Were Looking For

The Father We Were Looking For
How a young man in South Africa reminded me about identity, belonging, and the heart of the Gospel. 

A few weeks ago, I was in Durban, South Africa, leading a business conference hosted by one of our church partners. They leveraged the event as a community outreach. Brilliant! 

We had budding entrepreneurs and business owners gathered to learn how they could create real value in business. 

257 people from the local community attended…we prepared for 200! Over 80% of them had never been in that church. In fact, we had several Muslim and Hindu followers in attendance. 

At the end of the event, we held a business pitch competition (think Shark Tank with a different kind of Mr. Wonderful). Participants presented their ideas, a panel of judges selected the winners, and prize money was awarded to help move their businesses forward. 

When we announced third place, a young man named Jordy slowly stood up and the room exploded with excitement. It was like Super Bowl level volume.  

He met me up front. 

And before I knew it, he had collapsed into my arms. He broke in a way that words struggle to capture. 

Even with the continued cheering and celebration, everything faded in that moment. I was just a father holding a young man. 

You see, Jordy was without an earthly father. 

And standing there holding him, I realized parts of our stories weren’t all that different. 

I had a father, but I didn’t experience much fathering. There was little guidance. Little engagement. Little of the steady presence that helps a young man understand who he is and who he can become. 

Many of us know that feeling in one form or another. 

Some of us grew up without a parent. Some of us had parents who were physically present but emotionally absent. Many carry wounds from relationships that should have provided safety and affirmation but instead left questions that linger for years. 

(At least it did for me) 

The older I get, the more I am convinced that much of life is spent searching for identity, approval, and belonging. 

And it should be. We were created to be known, cherished, and embraced. 

But when pointed towards the wrong source, we remain searching. 

Career. Success. Achievement. Relationships. Respect. 

(That’s just the beginning of my list.) 

Yet we know none of those things fully answer the deepest questions of the human heart. 

Who am I?
Am I loved? And…
Do I matter? 

The good news of the Gospel is that Jesus does not simply forgive our sins. He restores our relationship with the Father. 

(Pause and read that again.) 

Scripture tells us that we have received “the Spirit of adoption” through whom we cry, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:15) 

Think about that. 

The Creator of the universe invites us into His family. INTO HIS FAMILY! 

Not as employees. Not as servants trying to earn His approval. 

As sons and daughters. 

That truth has changed my life. 

It has shaped how I lead. It has shaped how I parent. It has shaped how I see people like Jordy. 

Because when we understand who our Father is, it changes how we see ourselves and how we see others. 

At The Stone Table, we often talk about helping marketplace believers make Jesus known at work and around the world. Sometimes that happens through business training. Sometimes it happens through generosity. Sometimes it happens through creating opportunities for people to flourish. 

And sometimes it happens through a simple moment that reminds us what people are really longing for. 

Not merely a better business. 

But a hug that points them toward a perfect Heavenly Father. 

I encourage you to spend a few minutes reflecting on your own relationship with your Heavenly Father. Are you experiencing the fullness of His fatherhood? 

Want to see pics of the event? Click here.